Why I took my son out of School to Homeschool Again (And why I support BOTH homeschooling AND Public School)

Even before my son was born, I knew I was in for an experience.  He would kick all day and night, and while I was pregnant with him I wasn't sure he ever slept.  And sure enough, his birth confirmed our suspicions.  He inhaled some meconium, turned blue twice, and wouldn't cry.  When they finally got him to cry about 6 hours later, he didn't stop for a good six months.

No, seriously.  Anytime he was awake he was crying.

When that ended, he was often upset.  Loud noises upset him.  Strange people upset him. Crowded places upset him.

You know how they tell you to vacuum all the time around the baby so they get used to it?  Not my son.  No joke, I used my noisy blender EVERY DAY with him in my arms, and for two years he cried every time.  

Public washrooms? The noises were terrifying for him.  And when he finally got past the stage where he wouldn't cry anymore, he would cover his ears the minute we walked in one, anticipating the flush of a toilet or the noise from the hand dryers.

Around the age of two was the year we carried him kicking and screaming EVERY Sunday after church.  I'm not even sure why.  Too many people?  Too close to nap time?  

And over the years we've had people say things.  I was told he had a rebellious spirit at the age of one because he touched everything.  I had people look at his tantrums and point out to me that he cried over everything.  I've had people laugh when he would cry as they talked to him.  I've been told he was "playing me" as a screaming three month old.

I knew he was struggling.  For many years I didn't have a name for it, but I knew it went beyond the typical normal tantrums.  We had taken him to occupational therapy and to a pediatrician for help. They labeled him ADHD.  I didn't feel like that was an accurate diagnosis for him. At his age we all agreed no medication was the right choice.  But I still felt we were missing something.

Because of this, it came naturally that we would homeschool him.  And we did for two years (and his sister for four.) But my health was struggling, so I decided this year I would put him in school.  

But in the end, that just made things worse.  For most of the 6 months he was in school he would cry as I dropped him off.  He had the sweetest teacher, and excelled at work, but his anxiety was at an all time high.

And there it was.  I finally realized exactly what he struggled with.  

Anxiety and hypersensitivity.

And then I realized that I struggled with that too.  And not just as an adult, but my whole life.  I started to look back on my childhood and understand different things that occurred, different things I felt, and why I spent much of my life with stomachaches and headaches.

Even knowing this, I tried to push through with school for my son. I didn't want him to let the anxiety win. But after six months it was apparent that it was getting worse.  As he struggled, I watched my daughter thrive in school.  Their experiences were so different!

The truth about anxiety? It doesn't just "go away".  You can't just do the same thing over and over and expect that one day you won't feel anxious.  Anxiety sufferers need to learn coping mechanisms, and way to manage their anxiety in those situations.  I believe that comes with feeling secure, with age, and with experience.  

I started to pinpoint some of the reasons he was anxious.  I discovered the noise level at school, being surrounded by a LOT of other kids, and being away from family were all factors.  While these situations are not entirely avoidable in life, I felt that my son needed smaller, baby steps into conquering his anxieties and learning to cope.  After all, he was just a six year old little boy. 

Me with the boy.  No anxiety when he is out in nature!

While I know there are many who will disagree with me, I felt that I was trying to "teach him to swim by throwing him into the deep end."  It just wasn't sitting well with me.  After awhile he wasn't the only one with anxiety.  I had anxiety too at how he would react when I dropped him off and walked away from him while he cried.  It never got easier, if anything, it got harder for both of us.

What I discovered is that you can send your child to one of the best schools in the area, he can have what you believe is the best teacher in the school, along with some of the best families you know, but it doesn't mean he will thrive.  I know this because my son had an amazing teacher, a great school, and wonderful classmates.  But he still struggled.  Why?  Because each child is unique and different.  The "one size fits all" education doesn't necessarily work for everyone.  And it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with my child.  Or yours.  It means that a different approach may work better for him.

I am excited to watch my son feel more at ease soon.  And as I teach him at home, my daughter who is thriving at school will continue to go.  My choice is the right choice for my family.  Every family has to decide what is best for them and their children.  I am for homeschooling.  I am for public school. I am for private school and Catholic school and Christian school. I see benefits to all.   But more importantly, what I see in most  cases is parents and teachers who have huge hearts for the children they teach, whether it be at home or school.  We are all aiming for the same thing - to raise well-rounded, happy, and educated children, so instead of declaring one is better than the other, can't we just decide we are all aiming for the same outcome?  It's time to support and encourage one another in our decisions to educate and raise our children, and not try and prove that one way is better for everyone.  It's time to walk alongside our friends and loved ones and raise each other up as we work hard to make the best choices for our little ones.  

Peace & Love. ;)

Making the Difficult Decision to Stop Homeschooling

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I was looking forward to the school year.  All the things we would learn together. I bought curriculum.  But as September approached, I couldn't wrap my head around preparing.  And as others on Facebook got ready to send their kids to school, I found myself a little jealous.

Not because I was desperate to get away from my children (although, I have my moments, though I'm not proud to say it).  But because I haven't been very good at time management.  And I was struggling.  The teaching of the kids was easy - they are still young, and they pick up academics fairly quickly and easily.  It was all the other things.  How in the world could I get the laundry and dishes done when the boys are roughhousing and scream because one is hurt?  How could I cook healthy meals and even find time for myself to eat in the middle of all the action in this house?

My children are loud.  I don't mean like, normal "child" loud.  No, they take it to a whole new level.  And I don't blame them for it.  My husband and I are loud.  No matter how hard I desperately pray for it, I do not have a meek and mild personality.

Loud people are passionate people.  Passionate people are emotional.  Whether happy or sad, or angry or excited, we often express it in a loud way.  I've often had people in the stores just staring at my children because of the joy they express over everything they see for sale in the Dollar store. Rainbow coloured straws?  (Squeal!!!) Red Christmas garland? (Shriek!!!)  Purple buttons?? (Scream!)  No matter what it is, it excites them.  Which is really awesome to watch them get so excited over something so simple.

Except when you are all crammed in a small home with no play room and that is the sound you hear all day.  Mixed in with shrieking from meltdowns and sibling fights.  And the excitement with these little loud people doesn't stop at night.  Sure, they go to sleep without any complaints, but most nights someone is bound to sleepwalk, have a night terror, or just wake up crying.  I'm convinced our brains don't shut off in this house. ;)

A funny thing about loud people - at least when it comes to adults? We may be loud, but we also CRAVE quiet.

And when it was all getting too much, when I couldn't keep up,  I started getting sick.  Like, stress sick.  My doctor did tons of tests but came up with nothing.  There was no explanation for my extreme stomach pain, constant fatigue, and other odd things that would occur that I just don't share.

So I made the tough decision.  One week late of course.  I would put my two oldest children in school.  My oldest one loves it, my middle child is having a hard time adjusting, though each day we see a little improvement.

Homeschooling moms.  Public School Moms.  Private School Moms.  NEVER let anyone make you feel guilty for your decision on how to teach your child.  It is not easy.  There is no one size fits all. We are all living with different family dynamics and what works for one person doesn't always work for the next.  We have different lives.  Some of us have two working parents, some have one, Some of us have volunteer commitments, some of us have a wide open schedule.  Some of us have one vehicle or some of us have two, or some of us don't drive at all!  Some of us have lots of kids, some of us have an only child, or somewhere in between.  Some of us work well under pressure, some of us don't.  To believe that there is only one way for your children's education is silly.

My kids have only been in School for one week.  And I already feel like i am managing my time well. I am also looking forward to really gauging where they are in their academics this year, as well as helping them learn to adapt to a new situation. But truthfully, I hope that one day I can homeschool them again.  But I am slowly coming around to the idea that it is okay to change things up and do what is right for your family in different seasons.

So here is to a new year, with new adventures! :)  What about you? Have  you had to make the difficult decision to stop homeschooling? Or to start homeschooling?

Peace & Love. ;)

Online Homeschooling Resources

Winter has felt extra long and extra cold this year.  being Canadian, you'd think I'd be used to this by now, but nope, I still whine and gripe about it.  This year could feel extra long due to the fact I have not been able to take my kids outside much.  My middle child struggles with some sensory issues, and wearing a snowsuit basically consists of flailing of the arms and legs and screaming at decibels that shouldn't even exist.  And that's just me. ;)  Needless to say, we've spent most of winter indoors.

Having three very active children whom I homeschool makes for some long days when you can't get outside. Here are a few online resources I use for homeschooling to help us all stay sane for our long, Canadian winters.

1.  Starfall

This free site has allowed me to sneakily trick my children into learning when they just think they are getting some video game time in.  This is particularly helpful when I am doing book work with one child, and need the other older child to stop running around in circles or using the couch as a trampoline.  

2.  GoNoodle

I just started using this site.  It was recommended to me by a friend who works in the school system.  My kids love it!  It allows them to jump around and burn some of that pent up energy. It has a lot of goofy stuff on it which kids find so much fun! There is a little bit of everything on GoNoodle.

3.Cosmic Kids Yoga

I've only been using this one for a few weeks as well.   Cosmic Kids is a channel on youtube. My daughter and my toddler love it as well.  It is nice because it gets them active, without having them be too wild.  Each episode contains a story, and the kids do different yoga moves all through the story.

4.  Sheppard's Software

I haven't used this one too much yet, mostly because I keep forgetting about it.  But I was using it to help my daughter learn the provinces and capital cities.  I haven't explored too many other of the activities on here.

As you can see, there is a common theme here.  All the programs I use are free.  'Cause, that's how we roll here.:)

Peace & Love. :)