It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I was looking forward to the school year. All the things we would learn together. I bought curriculum. But as September approached, I couldn't wrap my head around preparing. And as others on Facebook got ready to send their kids to school, I found myself a little jealous.
Not because I was desperate to get away from my children (although, I have my moments, though I'm not proud to say it). But because I haven't been very good at time management. And I was struggling. The teaching of the kids was easy - they are still young, and they pick up academics fairly quickly and easily. It was all the other things. How in the world could I get the laundry and dishes done when the boys are roughhousing and scream because one is hurt? How could I cook healthy meals and even find time for myself to eat in the middle of all the action in this house?
My children are loud. I don't mean like, normal "child" loud. No, they take it to a whole new level. And I don't blame them for it. My husband and I are loud. No matter how hard I desperately pray for it, I do not have a meek and mild personality.
Loud people are passionate people. Passionate people are emotional. Whether happy or sad, or angry or excited, we often express it in a loud way. I've often had people in the stores just staring at my children because of the joy they express over everything they see for sale in the Dollar store. Rainbow coloured straws? (Squeal!!!) Red Christmas garland? (Shriek!!!) Purple buttons?? (Scream!) No matter what it is, it excites them. Which is really awesome to watch them get so excited over something so simple.
Except when you are all crammed in a small home with no play room and that is the sound you hear all day. Mixed in with shrieking from meltdowns and sibling fights. And the excitement with these little loud people doesn't stop at night. Sure, they go to sleep without any complaints, but most nights someone is bound to sleepwalk, have a night terror, or just wake up crying. I'm convinced our brains don't shut off in this house. ;)
A funny thing about loud people - at least when it comes to adults? We may be loud, but we also CRAVE quiet.
And when it was all getting too much, when I couldn't keep up, I started getting sick. Like, stress sick. My doctor did tons of tests but came up with nothing. There was no explanation for my extreme stomach pain, constant fatigue, and other odd things that would occur that I just don't share.
So I made the tough decision. One week late of course. I would put my two oldest children in school. My oldest one loves it, my middle child is having a hard time adjusting, though each day we see a little improvement.
Homeschooling moms. Public School Moms. Private School Moms. NEVER let anyone make you feel guilty for your decision on how to teach your child. It is not easy. There is no one size fits all. We are all living with different family dynamics and what works for one person doesn't always work for the next. We have different lives. Some of us have two working parents, some have one, Some of us have volunteer commitments, some of us have a wide open schedule. Some of us have one vehicle or some of us have two, or some of us don't drive at all! Some of us have lots of kids, some of us have an only child, or somewhere in between. Some of us work well under pressure, some of us don't. To believe that there is only one way for your children's education is silly.
My kids have only been in School for one week. And I already feel like i am managing my time well. I am also looking forward to really gauging where they are in their academics this year, as well as helping them learn to adapt to a new situation. But truthfully, I hope that one day I can homeschool them again. But I am slowly coming around to the idea that it is okay to change things up and do what is right for your family in different seasons.
So here is to a new year, with new adventures! :) What about you? Have you had to make the difficult decision to stop homeschooling? Or to start homeschooling?
Peace & Love. ;)