Saturday, February 27, 2016

You Know You're a Mom When....

Remember life before kids?  Yeah, neither do I.

Although, I do have this sneaky suspicion that I didn't say so many weird things, or witness so many weird events as I do now.

You know you're a Mom when.....

1.  You yell things like "stop sitting on your brother's head!" or "Do not lick the window!"

2. You spend 20 minutes googling the proper names of all the minions to end a sibling argument on whether Bob is the minion with one eye or two.

3. You spend 30 minutes searching for a favorite stuffie that your three year old needs to sleep with, even though he didn't need that one yesterday.

4.  You push your 1 1/2 year old's hand away just in time from pulling up your shirt while standing in the grocery line because she decides she HAS to nurse right this moment.  It doesn't matter that you have $150 dollars of groceries you need to put on the conveyor belt and bag.  She wants to eat NOW.

5.  You stand in the middle of the store while your child is having a full out tantrum on the floor deciding the best next move only to look around and see half the store giving you the look.  You know the one I'm talking about.

6.  You get in your minivan and start singing along to the "The Wheels on the Bus".  Three more children songs play on the CD until you remember you are actually in the van alone (rare, I know) and you can listen to your own music.

7.  You catch yourself saying things your mother said to you that you swore you would never say.  Things like, "Because I said so, " or  "if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?"

8.  You know all the words to all the songs that play on the Fisher Price toys.

9.  You know every name of every character in Paw Patrol.  You even have a favorite.

10.  You hear a child sniffle or murmur at 2;00 a.m. and you jump out of bed, out of a deep sleep in .2 seconds to make sure everyone is okay.

11.  Bodily fluids barely gross you out anymore.  You've analyzed them, cleaned them up, worn them. You are a pro on how to handle whatever comes out of the body now!

12.  You forget that not everyone feels the same way - especially the couple who is over for dinner and yet to have kids.  The look on their face reminds you that talking about bodily fluids at the dinner table should be avoided when guests are over.

13.  When you take a shower you are constantly listening to make sure the house isn't being destroyed.  Every 2.5 minutes you yell out to make sure everyone is okay.

14.  You choose which purse to buy on how much of the kids stuff it will hold.  It needs to be big enough for snacks, water bottles, a toy or two, and hand wipes.  

15.  You quietly try to open a chocolate bar in a corner of the room so no one will hear so you can have it all for yourself.   The kids always hear though, no matter how far away they are.

What about you?  Have anything to add to this list?

Peace & Love. :)

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